US Diary (10-Dec-2023)
Thanksgiving is a celebration of the close family and friends in our lives and the first meal of the fall harvest. This day holds a deep sense of gratitude as it sounds, a day to give thanks. Thanksgiving is the most important holiday of Americans, as it is a time when American families reunite, express gratitude for one another and feel closer to one another than at any other time.
Turkey is the main dish for the feast though it was not served in the feast when it was started in 1621. In a traditional feast, mashed potato, sweet potato, green bean, corn, brussels sprouts, cranberry sauce, pecan pie, pumpkin pie, turkey and other dishes are served.The charcuterie board contains meat and cheese, nuts and dried fruits, dips and spreads and accompaniments like olives, crackers and cheese straws. The turkeys are in plenty and always available in America. That may be the reason for its importance in the Thanksgiving feast. It is said that in America there were at least ten million turkeys at the time of European contact. As per the report of USDA (United States Department of Agriculture), more than 46 million turkeys are eaten on Thanksgiving day. Today pumpkin pie is a favourite dish on Thanksgiving day. It is considered that the creamy mashed potato is the equivalent of a warm hug.The abundant crop of corn from that fall season is served for the very first time on Thanksgiving day which is officially celebrated in USA, Canada, Grenada, Saint Lucia, Liberia etc. while Brazil, Germany, Philippines, and parts of Australia unofficially observe it.
This feast has resemblance to "Puthari uthsavam" being celebrated in the Indian state of Kerala when the first harvested rice from the paddy fields is cooked and served as a pudding (payasam) for the whole family to celebrate after offering it first (as nyvedyam) to the local deity.
At the feast, after carving the turkey, the wish bone, a Y shaped bone is set aside to dry. Before starting the meal, the participants at the table generally pray saying "Thank you God, for the food we are about to eat, for those who are here to share the blessings, for the generosity of our hosts that makes this possible. Bless those who are here and those who are in our hearts and all those who are not as fortunate on this day". Following the meal, two people make their wishes and break the wish bone.
This year, Thanksgiving day fell on 23rd November. Preetha's cousin Lakshmi and M.P. Narayanan had invited us to their house in Narberth, Pennsylvania, days ago, for this grand festival. This is for the first time, that I got an opportunity to participate in this important festival, although I have visited and stayed in the US many times before. I was happily looking forward to this, while I gathered details of this great day, reading and discussing with Sree and Preetha. We reached Lakshmi's house at about 4.30 PM on the 23rd. Vaishnavi, Preetha's cousin's daughter, an undergraduate student who was temporarily staying with us for a few days, while her parents were away in India also joined us. Her mother Rajni, a Kathakali artist had a performance tour programme in India for two weeks and her father Pradeep, an official with a shipping company based in New York City was accompanying Rajni.
Some of the faces were new to me at Lakshmi's house and Narayanan introduced them to me one by one. All of them gave us a warm welcome. Divya (Lakshmi's daughter) and her husband Apurva, both medical doctors were there with their children Mina and Avi. When we entered the house, we saw a grandma playing hide and seek with her four year old grandson. It was Malli who is a professor based in Canada who had come with her grandson, Ananth, to visit her brother, Prof. Narayanan and to attend the function. Narayanan's niece Smita,who is a faculty at Harvard and Punya, (Smita's husband) who works for Google and their kid, Soma had come from Boston, Massachussetts. They were all new faces to me. All of them were so friendly and within minutes we were talking as if we knew each other for a long time. Lakshmi's brother Ramkumar (retired IT professional), his wife Liza (retired music teacher), their daughter, Marisa who is doing Ph.D. at the University of Pennsylvania were there as well to attend the function. I knew them well having met a few times earlier. All of us spent some time chatting and munching snacks and watching the children playing. Avi did not recognise me, at first. When I reminded him of his visit to my house in Kerala, he quickly recollected and his face lit-up. Vaishnavi, who was meeting all of them for the first time, was good at playing with children as well as mingling with adults. Soon she became one amongst them and was having a good time. It was amusing to watch the children especially Ananth, who was curiously asking questions seeking his grandmother every now and then. It was so heartwarming and I felt as if I was attending a family get together with my own family and cousins. We exchanged family news, discussed our views and interpretations on Ramayana, Bhagavath Geetha, Bhagavatha, Narayaneeyam etc. which are some of the topics that I enjoy.
The beautifully carved pumpkin boats by Marisa, Liza and children, which I presume represent the pilgrims' voyage (who had landed in the US by boat) were on display. It was Liza's idea to make boats cutting pumpkins into two halves and carving it in the shape of a boat after cleaning the inside. The artistically handmade flag posts, sail masts for catching the wind and the rowing men with their pets were artfully put together by the children with Liza's and Marisa's help and the history behind it was clearly explained to me by Liza. Those beautiful creations reminding the origin of this festival was truly a tribute to the ancestors. Liza explained that her parents used to make them on every Thanksgiving Day and she herself started doing this for the last two years after them. Lakshmi, who has been hosting this Thanksgiving celebration for the last two decades, expressed her happiness saying that this year, with my presence, she had the opportunity to celebrate this Thanksgiving Day with four generations for the first time.
In America, dinner time starts as early as 6 PM. At Lakshmi's house, before dinner, since we had several rounds of appetizers, the Thanksgiving feast started around seven thirty. Mina's handmade name tags were placed in front of each plate so that the invitees had a clear idea of where to sit on the table. I was happy to see 'Kanakoppol' name tag nicely placed in front of my plate. Mina might have heard her grandma call me 'Kanakoppol (which means older sister, Kanakam) and assumed that to be my name. It was refreshing to see the children rightfully kept motivated and directed to do whatever they could. Names or initials were on glasses/cups too. In this country, there are certain norms observed on occasions like this. People tend to dress formally. Discipline is very important. From childhood on, children are taught to practise and learn proper etiquette like welcoming guests, saying thank you or sorry on appropriate occasions, helping in household chores, doing their duties of their own etc. In my opinion, making children self-reliant from childhood is good for their future. It helps grow their self-confidence and self-esteem. However, it has to be done in the right manner without compulsion or punishments or scolding.
While a few of us were sitting, chatting and relaxing, Lakshmi and others were busy doing the final touches for the feast. I could see so many delicious dishes getting spread on the centre island and dining table. The invitees could bring one or two items for the feast if they wish. Preetha had brought baked salmon. There was another special curry, called 'Dalma' that Punya had prepared. This curry resembled the 'Sambar' of south India but had a different taste. This is a dish from Bhuvaneswar (of Indian state Orissa/Odisha). As a vegetarian, all the items that I ate suited my palate and were so tasty. At night, Divya and Apurva took us (myself, Sree, Preetha, Ajay and Vaishnavi) to their house which was just a few yards away from Lakshmi's house. They were excellent hosts making sure that I was comfortable. After a cosy night's sleep, I woke up to yet another beautiful morning with the sun rays slowly trickling into the room through the windows. I could see the beautiful woods outside with some of the trees still holding on their few golden yellow, bronze, brown, red and crimson coloured unshed leaves allowing the sun rays to glitter through while shivering in the mild cold breeze. It was a very soothing site for my daily exercise/yoga and after taking shower, Preetha and Sree enjoyed the special coffee that Apurva prepared for them, and we then went back to Lakshmi's house.
After greeting everyone, Narayanan came with a pen and an open notebook and said with a smile "No one can leave this place without doing homework". I smiled back with an enquiring question on my face. He explained that each one of us had to write a comment about yesterday's Thanksgiving celebration. He added "as an example, you can write openly whatever you feel like the food or a particular item was not satisfactory and you need to improve the quality of food next time" etc. We laughed at his suggestion, and I quickly scribbled a few lines in the book. The book carried writings from several years back and I liked the idea of recording family stories to keep precious family memories.
Prof. MP Narayanan requires no introduction. However, I would like to provide a little introduction for those who may not know him. He is a renowned professor at the Ross Business School, University of Michigan working for several years who still continues to provide his services even after the age of retirement. He often comes to India as a visiting professor and delivers speeches, lectures and teaches in various Universities. He belongs to the famous MP tharwad (Family) and he is the grandson of the famous Indian freedom fighter late MP Narayana Menon. He grew up and had his early schooling in Chennai. Other famous personalities in his family include the late Vice Chancellor, Prof. Madhava Menon.
After having a delicious breakfast, we thanked them all and took leave. We reached NJ before noon. Thus, my first Thanksgiving celebration in the US was very heartwarming and memorable.
People in India have started family get-togethers for the last few years. With the nuclear family structure setting roots in India, it is a good initiative to continue the otherwise broken relationship and bonds with one's own relatives, or between wedded families or for boosting one's own mental health and for maintaining our cultural and family traditions, social unity and integrity.
Soon after finishing this writing, I read in my family group 'Ambalakkat' that my cousin Madhura edathi has invited our family members for a get-together at her house on the Thalappoli day of their nearby Ayyappan temple. I applaud this good gesture and appreciate her attitude. In olden days when people were following the joint family system (life in Tharavad), the concept of cousins was not apparent, with all cousins addressed either as a sister or a brother and all of one's father's or mother's cousins addressed either as an uncle or as an aunty. Let us try to cultivate and maintain that type of bond at least between our near and dear ones.
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